Monday, April 18, 2011

Let's Talk about Leadership

1) The Internet is running for prime minister. I know. It's part of a movement against internet metering.



2) Judith Timson at the Globe and Mail asks, "Where are Canada's 21st-century leaders?" It's true that when our choice is between four grey-haired white guys in suits things start to feel a little bit 1867-ish. And also things can get a little boring. Asks Timson,

Four dark suits, four tasteful ties, four grey heads. Go crazy, Canada. That is what you will get no matter which major party you vote for. I ask you, where are the 21st-century leaders? Where are the political stars, male and female, of varying ethnic backgrounds, who as one professor of communications put it after the first debate, “transcend their party identity and add to the national narrative?

I love Judith Timson because the next thing she does is call Harper not just a robot but a "Teflon father-know-best bot".

Dr. Sévigny, who teaches a class in campaigns and elections, told me in a phone interview he thought the first debate seemed “incomplete” and, to use a marketing term, “off code” for the millennials and even other generations hooked into the Internet zeitgeist, the “code” being “diversity, inclusion, collegiality.”

I found the male lone gunslinger approach of each leader alienating and old-fashioned (I tried to do this, but you did that, now it’s high noon, dude). And, in a huge collegiality no-no, there was palpable loathing onstage between several of the leaders, some of it emanating from Mr. Harper, the man who wants you to give him a majority, he says, so that all this “bickering” will go away.

All true. Speaking of prime ministerial candidates and diversity and inclusion...

3) The CBC wants to know What I Would Do if I Were Prime Minister. Are you kidding me? If I were prime minister? There are SO MANY THINGS that I would do, starting with being cool and not boring, redecorating the PMO, and... hmm... oh yeah, fixing democracy.

No, in all seriousness, The National is asking people to submit one-minute videos explaining what they would do if they could be prime minister. Some of them will be shown on the show! YOU could be on the same program as Peter Mansbridge!!!

4) Um, this.

5) So the good people at Dose.ca ran all the major party leaders' names through various name generators, and the results are hilarious.

Real name: Stephen Harper

Wu-Tang Clan name: Sarkastik Professional

Hobbit name: Mungo Toadfoot of Frogmorton

Pirate name: Cap'n Casey Deadbones

Vampire name: Aelfric Brown, Devil of Bats and Shadows

Smurf name: Smoochie Smurf

--

Real name: Michael Ignatieff

Wu-Tang Clan name: Midnight Contender

Hobbit name: Berilac Danderfluff of Willowbottom

Pirate name: Drownin' Sid Bones

Vampire name: Milosh Crowley, Tiger of Beijing

Smurf name: Spooky Smurf

--

Real name: Jack Layton

Wu-Tang Clan name: Violent Desperado

Hobbit name: Sancho Brandybuck of Buckland

Pirate name: Pirate Benjamin the Bitter

Vampire name: Emperor of Angels, Consort of The Steely Moon

Smurf name: Happy Smurf

--

Real name: Gilles Duceppe

Wu-Tang Clan name: Optimistic Lyricist

Hobbit name: Moro Bracegirdle of Hardbottle

Pirate name: No-Neck Casey

Vampire name: High Priest of Night, Erebus of The Cruel

Smurf name: Ol' Mac Smurf

--

Real name: Elizabeth May

Wu-Tang Clan name: Detective Ventriloquist

Hobbit name: Peony Bulge of Hobbiton

Pirate name: "Chocolate" Blair Read

Vampire name: Magdalene Vigée-Lebrun, Leto of The Beltane Feasts

Smurf name: Summer Smurf

If you want to try the candidates in your riding, here are the links:

-Wu-Tang Clan name generator

-Hobbit name generator

-Pirate name generator

-Vampire name generator

-Smurf name generator

My riding is a close contest between Dog-Rum Doug and Rani of Scandinavia, the Mother of Sewer Rats.

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